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I walk through the double doors. My heart is pounding inside my chest and my backpack is weighted down with all the necessary school supplies. My wide brown eyes take in the large crowd of students shuffling past. Their faces are all a blur. I’m too intimidated to make eye contact.

My first class has me fidgeting in my seat. My voice cracks when I utter a timid “present” when my name is called. The teacher is an old man with a monotone voice that I immediately tune out. Moments later I hear the sound of desks grinding against the tile floor along with the chattering of my classmates. Everyone is forming themselves into groups – no one asks me to join theirs.

Lunch time. Where to sit? I have my brown paper bag in my sweaty hand. It contains an ordinary peanut butter and jelly sandwich. My eyes scan the crowd. I’m looking for someone from one of my classes to sit with. I recognize a few people, but in the end, I chicken out and go to the library instead where I eat my peanut butter and jelly sandwich alone.

The final bells rings and I slowly walk to my locker. The shoves I receive from the impatient upperclassman no longer faze me. My shoulders have been getting bumped into all day. I shove the golden key inside the lock of locker number 1350 and dump the books I need for tonight in my Trans by Jansport backpack. I have no one to mingle with, so I leave.

My dad is late picking me up. I’m standing in the late summer heat, watching the cars pass me by. Finally my dad’s beat up old truck pulls up to the curb. He greets me with an excited smile. “How was your first day?” he asks. I sigh and I buckle my seatbelt. “Horrible.” I mumbled. As I turn to look out my window, my father places a gentle hand on my shoulder to comfort me. “The second will be better.” he tells me. I say nothing, but deep down, my insecure 14-year old self hopes it will be.

 

A.H.

 

October 2009 Horoscopes

Aries:

(March 21-April 19)

October is a more sociable month than most. You are definitely more animated and self-expressive, leaving work worries behind you. In fact, work improves, although there is nothing exactly minor or light about career these days. Opportunities for friendship will surprise you, stirring up emotional excitement. Existing relationships will strengthen, or new ones are expected to form. Be careful with the building tension between your career and a close partnership.

Taurus:

(April 20-May 20)

Your focus is mainly on work matter, this month. Also, you are worried about your health and considering a fitness routine. Tension builds between your attention to the routine matters in your life and your need to move beyond the ordinary and everyday events. A new sense of purpose or a new plan or resolution is expected. You must be getting excited about home improvement, which will precede a more sociable phase later.

Gemini:

(May 21-June 21)

Ahead comes a very sociable, lighthearted, and playful period in your life. This month, you will come out of that cocoon you made last month, determined to have some fun. Many of your current activities are demanding more of your time and energy, and you may be faced with the decision of becoming more serious or letting go of them. As you focus less on home life, it is improving. Later, you will be busy with work and communications.

Cancer:

(June 22-July 22)

This month is a great time to push personal projects ahead, after which you can relax and make yourself feel comfortable and secure. Opportunities arise for higher learning or travel. Also, you will be completing an important business project. Home is a very active part of your life, this month. Tension is building between domestic matters and one-on-one relationships, and finding a balance is something you'll be striving for. Watch your impulse buys.

Leo:

(July 23-August 22)

You may be especially busy and hectic this month. You are becoming aware that you need to pay attention to building your skills, in order to improve your work, productivity, or value, but you will try really hard to find the time for this. You need to find a balance between your commitments to work and your need to run errands, learn, and network. You will have the opportunity for creative projects, but watch out for stress.

Virgo:

(August 23-September 22)

This month, new priorities are emerging as you restructure and begin a new phase in your life. One of these priorities is attention to finances, which are generally strong. However, you need to pay more attention to budgeting and holding down minor or unnecessary expenses in order to save more and, in turn, feel more secure and in control of your money. At the end of the month, you begin to feel re-energized and considerably more light-hearted.

Libra:

(September 23-October 22)

This month, your own personal needs, desires, and projects assume more importance.

Challenges from, and responsibilities to, family increase, as you take a stronger, more assertive, and more independent stance. In the further future, you will be aware of family dynamics and how they are affecting your self-image. Breaking free from past conditioning is common this month. Your relationships are tests; some will be strengthened and others will not last. Later, focus on security, finances, and comfort matters.

Scorpio:

(October 23-November 21)

For the most part, October is a time of rest, of tying up loose ends, and maybe letting go. However, career matters are active, busy, and strong. You are feeling considerably more determined when it comes to professional matters. Sensitive issues or secrets are becoming exposed, so be careful with them. You will be able to strengthen your personal spirit, when increased focus, energy, and confidence arise. You feel confident about taking on new responsibilities and commitments.

Sagittarius:

(November 22-December 21)

This month you are bound to feel more confident, energetic, and certain, in contrast to past months. You’re confident in pushing matters forward and asking for what you want from life. Your relationships and friendships tend to be supportive this month; close personal relationships are friendlier than usual.

Capricorn:

(December 22-January 19)

This month is filled with responsibilities and accountability. It's a very busy month for career and professional matters, public exposure, and attention to business. Your words and actions will have significant impact. Tensions are building, because of your own abilities to take the lead and to manage others. It’s important to prove yourself, and you are likely to shine under this pressure. Matters at home draw much of your attention early. Coincidentally, one of your goals is improving relations or conditions in this area.

Aquarius:

(January 20-February 18)

October is a mostly happy and energetic month for you. Expect promotions or pay increases. It is a strong time for pushing forward with personal plans, particularly for presenting your ideas and matters to others (specifically about learning or teaching). Eventually you will pay considerably more attention to both career and close personal relationships. A new trend begins, in which meeting your responsibilities not only comes naturally, it also feels good.

Pisces:

(February 19-March 20)

This month, money matters, particularly money owed or shared. Support from others and loans are in focus, but possibly a source of stress. You will see improvements in partnership matters, and you may even feel as if a weight has lifted from your shoulders, concerning this area of life. However, relationships are time-consuming. Career matters – begin to move forward after a period of decline.